“I believe equality will be won with thousands of small, quiet gestures…Every time someone, male or female, steps up and declares that they’re taking action, the more likely it is that these gestures will happen when they need to.”
This is an excerpt from nickd’s blog on the choices he’s made to promote diversity and gender balance in his life and career. It’s an excellent list; if you need any ideas, please start there. Aside from that, I want to supplement his post with a couple of additional requests of my own. And while there are plenty of big ticket feminist issues that deserve every ounce of discussion and support they can get, today I want to focus on making little changes in our daily lives too.
Here’s a scenario that happens frequently at social events. I’m there happily shooting the breeze with an acquaintance of some kind – let’s call him guy #1. Suddenly, guy #2 comes up to say hello to guy #1, perhaps cutting me off in the middle of a sentence. And then the two of them start talking together, as if I weren’t a part of the original conversation. Guy #1 doesn’t introduce me, and I’m left awkwardly half in the conversation, half removed from it. This is irritating, but what’s even worse is what often happens after this.
Depending on how much I like either one of these guys, I will make attempts to insert myself back into the discussion. However, this sometimes doesn’t work: my comments or questions are simply ignored or diverted. This behavior is reductive and has the affect of making a person feel invisible. No good outcome comes from this, typically I decide neither guy has manners and I walk away, and our relationship remains tenuous.
The most memorable example of this happened last year while Chad & I went on a weekend jaunt up to Milwaukee to see art and take a break from Chicago. We went to an apartment gallery, American Fantasy Classics, which was more apartment than gallery; maybe 10 people were there. Chad knew a guy who had artwork up, and they eagerly began talking about running art spaces. This guy knew of the Post Family, and started peppering Chad with questions. At this point I’m wandering around solo, trying to make sense of the most arresting piece of artwork in the show. It was a cartoonish and grotesque sculpture of a horse made of collected bits of trash and fabric, complete with a creepy and glittering oversized penis. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the sculpture’s overt statement was a preview of the macho behavior I was about to encounter.
I made my way back to Chad, curious to hear more about the space and its baffling artwork. Introductions are made, and the conversation carries on – only I’m not part of it. I try multiple times to insert myself, offering insightful and relevant things to the conversation. I’m met with blank stare and diversion, followed by, “So, Chad, what about…?” Chad, thankfully, sees me getting frustrated and makes a point to explain why I know what I’m talking about. I kid you not, this guy did a double take. In this moment I transformed into a real person with valid thoughts and feelings.
It’s not right that it takes Chad – or anyone – to speak up on my behalf in order to be taken seriously. I am not a unicorn. I am a person, and I’m good enough on my own. You just have to talk with me, not at me, hear my words and respond in kind.
Even though this is a small request, my hope is that it catalyzes more listening, without complaint. So often when I see anyone making a stand for better treatment of women and minorities, there’s at least one guy bemoaning the request or making attempts to justify or defend the boorish behavior. I am so done with that response. It only makes things worse – it’s so much better to accept it with a smile, and offer an earnest apology so we can both move on. We can even still be friends; in fact, I will respect you that much more for handling the foible with grace.
This isn’t just my own perspective either. In Mychal Denzel Smith’s recent piece White People Have to Give Up Racism, on The Nation, he makes a similar argument with regard to African American culture. Among many great points, he implores white people to improve their listening skills. How? One way is to seek out more diverse media, but another is to simply hear what’s already being said around you. Chances are excellent that we’ve been talking this whole time, but you just had us on another channel.
I have precisely 15 minutes to push out this missive, so I’m just going for it! Here’s what happened in the last month.
Chad & I went to Minnesota to hang out with my fam and do some co-working at Loose Cubes. But we also got a really stellar behind-the-scenes tour of the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis. Designer Dante Carlos showed us their incredible library, archives, design offices, and introduced us to the rest of their design team. It was so incredible! I could have spent the whole afternoon pawing aroung in their library. Dante had the librarian pull some handmade pop-up books by one of my long time favorite artists, Tauba Auerbach. Wow, right? We even made the Walker blog too!
+ I started working with Aeolidia, I’m designing websites with them on the reg now.
+ Personal milestone: I turned 30! Pie-themed party (with requisite pie-eating contest, of course) was held at my co-working space Rational Park. (Semi-related, also designed & built Rational Park’s website with my super hero studiomates this month. Adding this ‘un to my portfolio, yepper.) Even though I’m thrilled to be 30 and enjoyed the heck out of my birthday, this milestone hasn’t come without some challenges, not going to lie. Growing pains as I spent these weeks not only evaluating myself but every aspect of my business, my process. Checking myself trying to make sure I’ve got my goals in focus. It’s exhausting, but man, so worth it. This is definitely to blame for my hard fall off the social media train too. And once you break the habit it’s really hard to get back into it, so I’m a bit breathless as if I were taking up running again. Plus, for the first time I noticed I had stage fright about what to post, which I admit is suuuuper lame, but there you have it. Blogger identity crisis. Progress is being made though, starting in five days, when I’ll be presenting about this exact process, on stage in front of several hundred people at WMC Fest. Either way I’m putting myself out there then, so I might as well bring it to this space too you know?
I’ve been wanting to explore Detroit for ages and finally there were enough reasons and planning to make it happen two weeks ago over Easter.
At the outset it’s hard to prepare for Detroit’s massive abandonment, decay, and poverty, even though I knew to expect it. To fresh eyes, large swaths of the city look, no jokes, like the leavings of a war zone. It’s pervasive, you can’t go more than a block or two before encountering it. Once opulently designed & crafted buildings are now windowless skeletons, sunken and rotting like forgotten jack-o-lanterns, scrappers having come and gone long ago. A particular image that won’t be leaving my head easily is the sight of the former Packard Motor plant. It’s a carcass that goes on for literal blocks. When Christina from printmaking shop Perfect Laughter showed us around her brand-new printmaking studio in the Corktown neighborhood she told us of the rubberneckers on the hunt for “ruin porn” documenting as if Michigan Central Station were the Acropolis or the Coliseum in Rome. And I can certainly understand that pastime, though it’s not my particular style, because the ruins really are a breathtaking sight to see.
Yet it’s undeniable that there are just as many marvelous things happening despite the sad parts of the city. Everyone we met in Detroit is doing something or working for something, their efforts beautifully poignant in the face of the city’s hard edges.
Culture is also on the rise in Detroit too. Chicagoans would not believe the Detroit Institute of Arts (DIA) rivals our Art Institute, but you’d be wrong there. It’s every bit as good, if not better. MOCAD, the contemporary art museum, is consistently one of the most creative and innovative contemporary spaces out there. Every visit it’s completely remade new and you can expect to be surprised, that’s for sure. This time around we enjoyed an incredible installation by Joshua White & Gary Panter’s Light Show. The best way I can think of to describe it as a modern fun house, a huge echoing space vibrating with psychedelic rhythm and sound. So intense it’s almost repellent at first, but then little surprises and funny things start appearing and then it’s all smiles if you hang out awhile. It’s like a little mini vacation, and a pretty perfect metaphor for how the city is itself.
We stayed at the adorably rustic yet modern inn, Honor & Folly, run by Meghan McEwen of Designtripper. The space was filled with plenty of handmade and thoughtful cozy touches, just as I imagined when I posted about it before. We made good use of the full kitchen and even hosted a meal with our families who hiked in from the suburbs to hangout.
Every place comes with a story in Detroit. At the Peacock Room, a little boutique near the DIA, the shop owner told me how she tore down the drywall in her space, only to discover it was hiding a 1920’s ballroom with mirrored walls, marble columns and tin ceilings. Talk about hidden treasure, eh? Or Café D’Mongo’s, a former speakeasy which is a feast of 1920’s nostalgia. It only reopened recently, pretty much intact from it’s original heydays. The charming & feisty older lady running the joint seems like she came back to life with the bar too.
We ate really well, plenty of BBQ and soul food, as well as fresh picks from the open air Eastern Market. Lafayette or American for Coney Island Dogs, though I can’t say I can tell the difference between the two places. Maybe the joy of a boiled hot dog in a white bun with chili and mustard is lost on me though. There was also plenty of music, we saw live shows almost everywhere without even trying. Detroit’s got Motown in its blood and that influence is clear. If there wasn’t live music at a venue there was a fatty juke box instead – the real kind – not the cheesy wall-mounted electronic ones with the same 20 songs that are popular in Chicago pubs. One place we went to (The Bronx) even has a bench thoughtfully placed by the juke box so you can get comfy while you rifle through the extensive collection.
The Heidelberg Project, while not exactly new (it’s a non-profit art installation that’s been evolving since the 1970’s), is a totally unexpected response to the city’s downfall. There is color and brightness on every possible surface, with bizarre objects in not normal places, it’s like Dr. Seuss came and built landscape with trash. Here it’s okay if nothing makes sense, it’s a nice reminder that chaos can also have beauty and meaning.
For next time: bookbinding classes at Signal Return that come with home-cooked farm-to-table dinner, another visit to the DIA, Belle Isle Park, a closer look at the Frank Lloyd Wright architecture. I’m sure there’s plenty else to do and see, I just hope I get to come back for it soon!
Big internet day for me today! Our house is on Design*Sponge! What a fun collaboration this was, Angela Finney-Hoffman (my Post 27 partner in crime) came over to help up hang some of the art and do some organizing and styling. And then our incredibly talented camera-head friends, Brian Guido & Julia Stotz took the pictures. I’m seriously pinching myself, I never thought our things could look so good. Also major high fives to Anne Stark Ditmeyer from Pret a Voyager & Design*Sponge for having us. Thanks, thanks, thanks. friends!!
Here’s some outtakes and some photos D*S didn’t publish, including one stereo & vinyl collection which is a particular favorite of mine.
Vintage magazine organizers, endearingly named after countries. Always make me ponder their previous & worldly life before they held our magazines. The little figurine buddy hanging out on the edge of the photo is by Friends with You. Instead of installing curtains or using the standard mini-blinds, we covered these bay windows with semi-transparent fabric. It’s adhered right to the glass with straight liquid starch (Sta-Flo). We rent so this will come off with a sponge & water once it’s time to move.
Vinyl collection is almost exclusively inherited from our parents & grandparents. Runs a wide gamut from musicals, barbershop & oldies, jazz, disco, to more modern folk and electronica. Plays on a mint-condition 80’s Technics turntable with round speakers, also vintage. The speakers are unfortunately more style than substance and this shows in the quality of sound. I love how unique they are though so maybe we’ll one day get to commission a modern remix on them (sorry, couldn’t resist the pun!).
Make sure you hit up the whole tour on Design*Sponge for the full rundown on the rest of the space!