“I believe equality will be won with thousands of small, quiet gestures…Every time someone, male or female, steps up and declares that they’re taking action, the more likely it is that these gestures will happen when they need to.”

This is an excerpt from nickd’s blog on the choices he’s made to promote diversity and gender balance in his life and career. It’s an excellent list; if you need any ideas, please start there. Aside from that, I want to supplement his post with a couple of additional requests of my own. And while there are plenty of big ticket feminist issues that deserve every ounce of discussion and support they can get, today I want to focus on making little changes in our daily lives too.

Here’s a scenario that happens frequently at social events. I’m there happily shooting the breeze with an acquaintance of some kind – let’s call him guy #1. Suddenly, guy #2 comes up to say hello to guy #1, perhaps cutting me off in the middle of a sentence. And then the two of them start talking together, as if I weren’t a part of the original conversation. Guy #1 doesn’t introduce me, and I’m left awkwardly half in the conversation, half removed from it. This is irritating, but what’s even worse is what often happens after this.

Depending on how much I like either one of these guys, I will make attempts to insert myself back into the discussion. However, this sometimes doesn’t work: my comments or questions are simply ignored or diverted. This behavior is reductive and has the affect of making a person feel invisible. No good outcome comes from this, typically I decide neither guy has manners and I walk away, and our relationship remains tenuous.

The most memorable example of this happened last year while Chad & I went on a weekend jaunt up to Milwaukee to see art and take a break from Chicago. We went to an apartment gallery, American Fantasy Classics, which was more apartment than gallery; maybe 10 people were there. Chad knew a guy who had artwork up, and they eagerly began talking about running art spaces. This guy knew of the Post Family, and started peppering Chad with questions. At this point I’m wandering around solo, trying to make sense of the most arresting piece of artwork in the show. It was a cartoonish and grotesque sculpture of a horse made of collected bits of trash and fabric, complete with a creepy and glittering oversized penis. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the sculpture’s overt statement was a preview of the macho behavior I was about to encounter.

I made my way back to Chad, curious to hear more about the space and its baffling artwork. Introductions are made, and the conversation carries on – only I’m not part of it. I try multiple times to insert myself, offering insightful and relevant things to the conversation. I’m met with blank stare and diversion, followed by, “So, Chad, what about…?” Chad, thankfully, sees me getting frustrated and makes a point to explain why I know what I’m talking about. I kid you not, this guy did a double take. In this moment I transformed into a real person with valid thoughts and feelings.

It’s not right that it takes Chad – or anyone – to speak up on my behalf in order to be taken seriously. I am not a unicorn. I am a person, and I’m good enough on my own. You just have to talk with me, not at me, hear my words and respond in kind.

Even though this is a small request, my hope is that it catalyzes more listening, without complaint. So often when I see anyone making a stand for better treatment of women and minorities, there’s at least one guy bemoaning the request or making attempts to justify or defend the boorish behavior. I am so done with that response. It only makes things worse – it’s so much better to accept it with a smile, and offer an earnest apology so we can both move on. We can even still be friends; in fact, I will respect you that much more for handling the foible with grace.

This isn’t just my own perspective either. In Mychal Denzel Smith’s recent piece White People Have to Give Up Racism, on The Nation, he makes a similar argument with regard to African American culture. Among many great points, he implores white people to improve their listening skills. How? One way is to seek out more diverse media, but another is to simply hear what’s already being said around you. Chances are excellent that we’ve been talking this whole time, but you just had us on another channel.

I should just write. I should. Stop over-thinking it. Just….do….it. Okay, go. Now. I’m going. I’m starting, picking up the thread not knowing where exactly I left off or how to start or fill you in. Life doesn’t follow such a tidy narrative though, so I guess it’s okay if blogs don’t either. In an email from my friend Kate Singleton of Buy Some Damn Art / Art Hound said, any blog posts are good. Even if they are sputtering and sporadic.

I came down with shingles in August, with my recovery lasting well into September. The only explanation for why, in my case, was months of prolonged stress. While the virus wasn’t terribly painful – I was lucky in that respect, but it did cause 4 days of temporary blindness in my right eye, many doctors visits (thank goodness I have insurance), medicines, and strict orders to take it easy. Very easy. Okay message received, universe: clearly it’s time to make some changes. What changes exactly, I’m still thinking about, but I’m happy to report that I’m physically back-to-normal. After taking a significant break from maintaining any kind of personal work – ie this blog or anything else, I’m finding my way back to it. I get some flickers of inspiration here and there, lukewarm at best, so I know I’m not totally broken. But I knew travel would speed things up, and it just so happened that Chad & I had booked crazy discounted tickets to San Francisco way back in the spring so the timing was perfect.

The biggest reason for the trip was Tony & Kat’s wedding, but there were also self-assigned work: museums, galleries, literature, hiking, a golden visit to the Pacific ocean, a tour of artist Lisa Congdon’s studio, and coffee with Makeshift Society owner, the masterful Rena Tom. Our adventures took us all over the Bay area, on Bart, MUNI, ferry, car, bicycle, streetcar, taxi, and of course on foot. We saw more organic produce at the Berkeley Bowl than I’ve ever seen in one place before (Whole Foods included), drove legendary Highway 1 at sunset, noshed on a late night In-N-Out burger – animal style, dove into rich gourmet bowls of mac ‘n cheese at Homeroom, desserted at Tartine, and marveled at the highly technical event that is parallel parking on SF’s steep hills. And so much art – art, and people doing interesting things it was a feast for my brains too.

Thank you, California friends, new and old. The way you brought us so generously into your lives was all of the soul fuel I could’ve asked for. I’m looking for all the reasons I can to make my return and see some more of you soon.

1. Muir Beach Lookout. 2. Awesome logo on a Bay Ferry boat. 3. San Francisco’s literary festival, LitQuake plays hosts to comedian/novelists, David Handler and Andrew Sean Greer. Recap of the event here by my friend Margaret Edith Maggie who also kindly lodged us for a few nights. 4. I got chills seeing this couple unknowingly mimicking a massive Margaret Kilgallen painting at SFMOMA. 5. Woodland elf? Nope, it’s photographer Ben Speckmann in Muir Woods! 6. Lisa Congdon fans my already major lust for Scandianvia with tales her three week solo trip to Iceland, Sweden, and Copenhagen, and how it’s inspired her work. 7 & 8. Lettering inspiration dialed up to 11 at highly traditional custom sign-painting shop Golden West Sign Arts in Berkeley. 9. The ocean was so cold my toenails turned blue! Ah!!! Okay, not really. Just seeing if you were still paying attention.

All photos by me or Chad on iPhones or the Canon S100.

Turns out saying no to projects, unnecessary obligations, figuring out how to clear the plate, etc, is really hard because it means hitting pause for a second to zoom out to assess the bigger picture. Which can be nerve-wracking and if you’re like me, you’ll find all the excuses you can to avoid looking under the hood. If you know how to take the right approach this process doesn’t have to be overwhelming, but instead will define and shape your pursuits better. I realized this was the talk that I would’ve wanted to hear at WMC Fest, which also meant I had do it myself.

Slowly and with some effort, I offer you this: How to Get your Hustle Straight and your Commitments Sorted.

It has five parts. Just like the hand. Or hand turkey, rather. Why the turkey? Well, turns out people have been using their hands to draw bird shapes since prehistoric times, and you have your hands with you all the time making it harder to forget what your own hand turkey is. And, finally if you think about it, the hand turkey is probably one of the first commissioned project we receive as children from our Kindergarten teachers.

Pinky finger: your brand
What’s your personal brand? Even though brand is such a bizarre, slippery word, we all have one. It’s the code that comes from a deeper place that drives your life and your work. So regularly taking stock of your personal practices, how you want your life to be, and then, key part, make them official in some way that’s meaningful to you. Whatever it is, you have to do something with this knowledge. Then revisit this statement, project, THING that you’ve created for yourself when you’re faced with a prospect that challenges your brand or tried to modify how you work. Sometimes these challenges will be good and useful, but other times it’s not going to be a good fit. Without a strong sense of your brand you will have a harder time telling them apart.

The example I gave on how I first discovered my own brand and my process what my And, the Typeface project which I did in 2009-2010. How it told me something about myself that I recognized as powerful, something I’ve clung to and cultivated as I’ve continued on with my work. You can see more about this project here and here if you like.

And here is the brand statement I’m using to remind myself of myself these days. This changes, all the time, but it’s important to have a working model at hand (pun intended), always:

“I refuse to settle for design as merely decoration. My best work comes when I run my own process with clients & collaborators who foster progressive values and cultural growth that resonates with me. I also require time to maintain a blog because of the empowerment it gives me & my readers.”

Ring finger: the hustle.
You could have the most amazing brand, the most touching origin story, the best sense of where you want to go, but none of it matters unless you’re getting your work and your message in front of the right people. Are you offering it to the right places? How effective are you in getting clients to trust you and your process? Are you working with people who value your time and budgets? Are you leveraging your network enough? Not only in terms of finding new opportunities, but being aware of other people’s skills and strengths, which is something I wasn’t taking into account until recently. It’s much easier to pass on a project if you know exactly the right person who can take it and really make it sing. Knowing the right people to share my workload when it becomes too much is priceless.

Middle finger: Cash money, hoes.
There’s a reason this is the middle finger, because we all hate to talk about the M word. Which is so ridiculous because it owns way more of our lives than we like to admit. And if you’re lacking in the department it’s going to hurt, big time. This is becomes even more key when you’re self-employed, so working on this gradually year by year will only pad your purse further. Obvious things like know what’s coming in the books and what’s going out, but did you know you might actually have to define what a profit is for yourself? I didn’t. This year I called up my Dad, he often advises me on business-y things, and gleefully announced I’d made a profit after filing my taxes with my accountant. He congratulated me and then asked what my profit margin was, what percentage I kept. Pulled up short, I realized I didn’t know how to answer, and what I’d really meant to say was – hey! – I didn’t record a loss this year. Not the same as making a profit, genius. I realized I didn’t even know what kind of profit I wanted to make. You can make 1¢ as profit and it’s still a profit, but I’m sure you’d agree that’s a pretty pitiful goal. In the end, knowing how your financials stack up makes it much easier to not let money dictate which projects to accept and which are no-goes.

This goes hand-in-hand with having well-honed negotiation skills. If you can talk about budgets comfortably it’s a a HUGE trust selling point because it reveals key information on both sides. But you have to practice doing this, practice different scenarios, practice addressing red flags. Till you are blue in the face, I’m not kidding. It sounds cheesy, but find someone to role play it out. A few minutes of private awkwardness will save you, and earn you, so much more dough. Frankly, wheeling and dealing can be fun if you let it.

Pointer finger: time management
This is forever going to be gray area because it’s impossible to account for all the possibilities for loss. Forgotten laptop power cords, traffic, all the admin parts of our days, most email, one more quick revision, surprise last minute meetings. Human-freaking-error. And the more on your plate the more complex your Jenga game is, meaning the harder you have to work to keep everything moving, the trickier it is to rebuild if something shifts or gets held up.

At some point taking on more things means you’ll drop off in other areas. What are you prepared to give up if you bring something new into the mix? Something will drop out guaranteed, and you won’t always know what until it happens, so it’s better to redirect if before even getting to that spot.

Keeping a constant eye on my calendar and my to do lists the only common theme I’ve been able to assess from all of the time management apps and programs out there. However you chose to break up the hours in the day with the tasks you must accomplish, it’s a universal challenge so you better pay attention to what process works for you.

And finally. TAKE TIME OFF. I’m saying this to myself constantly because I find it so hard to allow. Time off is non-negotiable, end of story. Innovation is impossible when you’re exhausted. Your work will never grow if you don’t allow time to just be. I thought I could get by for years on one day off a week, tried for years to make that work, but it’s just not enough. I still don’t always GET a proper weekend, at least not yet, but at least I now I give myself a little bit of a break at some point later on when I can. In short, it’s impossible to work too much without consequences. There will be signs if you’re pushing too hard. Don’t ignore them.

Thumb: the work.
You’d think this would be the first finger, the most important one. Because without the work, the actual products or services you offer, there’s nothing right? And we’d all just love to be doing more of it, because really, it’s why we got into this in the first place right? Well, turns out, it’s influenced so intensely by the other four fingers. If you’re off your brand, you’re going to end up doing work that means nothing to you, if you aren’t working with people who pay you properly, if you have trouble managing your time, etc, these will all cut into your actual time to make things you love. So the more you continue to tinker with your four fingers means the better you’ll get at creating a set-up that makes you the happiest and the most productive.

This my friends, your five fingers, is the Guide to No. It’s meant for you to tailor and adjust to your own specific needs, revising it as you go. If you’re driving on a long road in the dead of night, the Hand Turkey is your headlights, showing the path ahead. If constructed carefully you can use to illuminate the dead ends, the wrong turns, potholes. It may not be quite as exact at having a GPS to use…But honestly? Doing things, doing life perfectly is a bummer. Perfectionism is kind of a jerk, no one wants to invite him to their pool party.

Annnnnd there you have it, or at dispelled version of it anyway. There were a LOT of questions after I finished which is always a great sign, and I know you’re going to have some too. Post in the comments and I will dispense my thoughts.

Otherwise, this year’s greatest hits video of the event just dropped today, feels like it all over again!

{Image credits: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 }

I have precisely 15 minutes to push out this missive, so I’m just going for it! Here’s what happened in the last month.

Chad & I went to Minnesota to hang out with my fam and do some co-working at Loose Cubes. But we also got a really stellar behind-the-scenes tour of the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis. Designer Dante Carlos showed us their incredible library, archives, design offices, and introduced us to the rest of their design team. It was so incredible! I could have spent the whole afternoon pawing aroung in their library. Dante had the librarian pull some handmade pop-up books by one of my long time favorite artists, Tauba Auerbach. Wow, right? We even made the Walker blog too!

+ I started working with Aeolidia, I’m designing websites with them on the reg now.

+ Personal milestone: I turned 30! Pie-themed party (with requisite pie-eating contest, of course) was held at my co-working space Rational Park. (Semi-related, also designed & built Rational Park’s website with my super hero studiomates this month. Adding this ‘un to my portfolio, yepper.) Even though I’m thrilled to be 30 and enjoyed the heck out of my birthday, this milestone hasn’t come without some challenges, not going to lie. Growing pains as I spent these weeks not only evaluating myself but every aspect of my business, my process. Checking myself trying to make sure I’ve got my goals in focus. It’s exhausting, but man, so worth it. This is definitely to blame for my hard fall off the social media train too. And once you break the habit it’s really hard to get back into it, so I’m a bit breathless as if I were taking up running again. Plus, for the first time I noticed I had stage fright about what to post, which I admit is suuuuper lame, but there you have it. Blogger identity crisis. Progress is being made though, starting in five days, when I’ll be presenting about this exact process, on stage in front of several hundred people at WMC Fest. Either way I’m putting myself out there then, so I might as well bring it to this space too you know?

Bring it, Cleveland. Bring it, internet. Let’s tangle.

I didn’t think Pinterest was for me until one of my oldest friends, one who knows me better than almost anybody, called me out for not using it. As in, you’re crazy for not taking advantage of this resource…

That was six weeks ago and already it’s grown my traffic by a measurable amount (thanks, analytics). Better still, Pinterest – currently one of the fastest growing sites in the world – ranks as my #3 traffic source, right after organic google searches and direct visits. Pinterest is also ad-free at the moment, though there is the occasional and unintrusive sponsored/for sale pin. On Pinterest, there isn’t obsessive self-broadcasting and self-documentation; it’s just about curating and collecting cool stuff. The tone is more “isn’t this awesome?” rather than “look what I had for lunch.”

My friend, she was right.

Yet, I can’t unplug my brain from the rest of the negativity surrounding Pinterest. Snide pie charts mocking women who use Pinterest, wisecracks and reassertions against Pinterest are regularly cropping up in my feeds, and tech analysts and the media (Reuters + AOL, MSN Money) sure as heck don’t know what to make of the women flocking to this tool. And, as we know about online culture, these types of things can easily trigger and rapidly escalate to a place that is counterproductive. I’ve been watching this unravel, doing nothing with the hope it will blow over. I’m not doing nothing now.

Scoping out Pinterest’s home page, I totally understand the backlash. The topic is the day’s most popular content, pulled out of the context of that user’s particular stream. There’s no theme or structure otherwise. Individually, they aren’t inherently bothersome and most likely represent only a fraction of a user’s tastes. But put them together and collectively they are a hot mess of confusion, which doesn’t reflect the real experience of actually using the site, nor the amount of depth it offers. Instead it reads like a Barbie doll or a Cathy comic: exaggerated, out of proportion, and not indicative of reality. This makes it all too easy for the casual visitor to swiftly make their exit without need of return. Ew, indeed.

Still, every social network has its turn-offs. None is perfect; all have flaws and breakages. But it’s as though Pinterest must be bulletproof in order for it to be taken seriously. Which is silly. If any start-up waited until they were fully formed to launch and build users, there wouldn’t be any of them! That’s simply not how start-up culture works.

All of this boils down to the core idea that the site is somehow less worthwhile because women got to it first. It’s as if Pinterest needs a tagline: “No, really, it’s NOT just for women!” This conversation wouldn’t be happening if Pinterest’s early adopters were dudes, no doubt. Who knows if it would even still exist if Ben Silbermann & his team hadn’t decided to offer the first batch of invites to female design bloggers. Yet, he did and – stop the presses – it’s a big stinking deal because it’s never occurred to the world that a group of women can be early adopters of a technology. And as history tells us, women-folk bucking trends always seems to ruffle feathers.

Sure, Pinterest is dominated by women’s interests right now. Who says the site can’t grow and change? Who says there aren’t some open-minded guys out there who are willing to wade past the make-up tutorials and cupcake food porn to balance the playing field? Curating and sharing content is clearly not a behavior that will go away anytime soon, who knows, maybe Pinterest will fade into the background as similar sites like Gimme Bar and Dropmark emerge. (Both are still in beta, which means they are exclusive, still developing features, and can’t even begin to touch Pinterest’s growth yet.)

I don’t even really care how it plays out, I just don’t want it to be segregated and I don’t want to feel like I have to justify using a tool that is so obviously working for me & many others. Use it or don’t use it, but ragging on what doesn’t work for you is pretty declassé if you ask me. Capisce? Good. Now, how’s about we get back to getting inspired, making stuff, and sharing stuff shall we?

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Like the eye candy? Well, there’s plenty more, I don’t think I need to tell you where. #1 is Tangerine Dream by Jim Lambie, pinned by Chloé Douglas of Plenty of Color, #2 is a vintage tattoo, pinned by My Love For You, #3 is vintage buttons pinned by Christen Carter.

Thanks to Elizabeth Giorgi at The Mary Sue for inspiring this and supplying many of the sources. And also to Kate Singleton for directing my attention to this in the first place. Hugs + high fives, sisters.

Everyone is busy. Full stop. Busy related-chatter is banal and hijacks the conversation into the land of deadlines, procrastination, anxiety. Busy is a ruse we hide behind. Let’s strike it from our mouths. Wouldn’t you rather discuss being excited about your commitments? Excited instead of busy adjusts the dialogue so it’s optimistic, inviting, present. And more fun too.

 
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Inspired by Bobulate’s Ban on Busy.